The Dating Game
by kaleidoscope memories
Summary: (AU Allxfem!27) For Sawada Tsunahime, her 18th birthday had always been a day to be dreaded and scorned as it was the start of her Quest – the big countdown to pulling off the task set at birth by Mark. While it might seem like a simple goal, for Dame-Tsuna it is absolute hell. But isn't it common sense not to force a socially-impaired girl to have a hundred dates in a single year?
1. Prologue

_Hello!_

_I had this thing written for months and I finally decided to post it here (it spent some time on tumblr before I decided to move it on ff)._

_Please don't expect another chapter in a while. I honestly don't know how long it'll take till I update again. _

_Pairings: Allxfem!27 and a final ?xfem!27 (I don't even know yet myself. I'll put up a poll at some point I guess)_

_Warning: some gender-bending and possible homosexuality (no pairings are decided yet!)  
_

**Note** (to get this first chapter)_:_ this is Tsuna's diary (the other chapters won't be set like this) and between parentheses is her talking out loud to Reborn, who sometimes talks between double quotes. ...It seems more complicated than it is.

_Disclaimer: disclaimed._

* * *

Once upon a time, in the lovely kingdom of Namimori―

(What, this is too archaic?

But Reborn, I don't even want to write this. What point is there of me having a diary? I don't even have a single interesting event that is worth keeping in a diary. Certainly, I could whine about how I tripped down the stairs thirteen times that one day; however that's _really_ not worth remembering.

Fine, fine! Hiie! Don't hit me with that hammer ― _and where did that even come from?_)

Once upon a time, in the lovely city of Namimori, there was a young girl who lived with her kind mother and mostly absent father. This young girl's name was Sawada Tsunahime, and it was to be her eighteenth birthday the next day, October 14th.

Now, while it might not seem very important to you readers―

(Why do you want me to say 'readers'? It's not like anyone but you and I will ever get to read this crap.

Waaah! Okay, I get it, I get it! No questioning, only writing! Right!)

Now, while it might not seem very important to you _readers_, in the lovely-city-of-Namimori, the birthday that marked the eighteenth year of someone's life was of utmost importance.

And why is that?

Well, for you to understand, you must know about a Namimori tradition that went back to years and years ago.

(How many exactly, Reborn? I don't remember...

"If you listened in class you'd know, Dame-Tsuna."

...So?

"Not telling. There is nothing to tell either way."

Eh? What do you mean?_ Ouch!_

"As I said: if you were attentive in class you'd know its age or other details are an enigma for all."

Oh. Thanks!

"And you do know it's a worldwide happening."

Ah yes, indeed, naturally I do! What are you talking about? Ha ha ha...)

This mysterious tradition, which origins are unknown, was almost a curse in one particular aspect: every child born in this city was Marked, a tattoo of sorts. It could be either letters, numbers or symbols, either way it held a message...

...A Quest.

If you completed the goal set for you at your birth, you obtained something. It could be anything really - it only depended on the person. Most of the times, it was hinted at in your Mark.

Let's take my father's case, for example. His Mark was very simple, but very cryptic. It was a golden clam.

(Come on. Who would even want the tattoo of a clam? Poor Dad...

Still, lol.

Ouch, ouch! That was really mean! Why the hell did you pull so hard on my hair?!

Ouuuuch! Why, again?

"No 'lol'. That's disgusting. And you should never use an interrobang."

Why can't I use an interrobang ― no matter what _that_ is?

"It's when you put an interrogation mark besides an exclamation mark."

Oh. Really?

"Yes, really. Now, _go back to writing._"

Hiiiie, fine, fine!

Where was I again? Ah, I remember!)

So, my father's mark was a golden clam. Most of his childhood was spent quizzing over the meaning of that. His parents even brought him to a Reader―

(That's the right term, right?

"Unless you are suddenly being out of context, yes."

People whose job is to interpret the Mark? Like you?

"Indeed."

Then I'm right!)

That Reader told them something akin those lines: "With the clam, your son will achieved success. Perhaps he should become a fisherman? Or a cook?"

(...Did you just snort, Reborn?

"That Reader was an incapable moron."

Huh?)

And so Dad kept in mind this 'advice'. The day he turned eighteen, he went with his friends to a restaurant to celebrate his coming of age. He was ready to start his job of fisherman the very next day.

(Did you know he actually tried out for cook, but it didn't fit him at all? He was too lazy; he didn't want to through hours of preparation if he could just have eggs. Mom couldn't stop laughing when she heard that.

"Dame-Tsuna. Do I look like I care for such stupidities?"

N-no...

"Go back to writing, then. It's an order.")

The restaurant they went to was quite expensive (Dad's friends paid for him, of course!). The table just besides them had men dressed in tailored suits and very expensive phones, but my father was never the kind of man to pay any attention to details. When one of them choked, like _really_ choked―

("Was that precision necessary?"

Yes...?

Man, that was quite a deep sigh Reborn. What did I do again?)

_So_, one of them choked, and the rest of his table stilled, startled. My Dad, while he's very idiotic, has excellent instincts. He jumped over the other table, grabbed Choking-Man, and quickly did the Heimlich thingie.

("Choking-Man became a name? And_― The Heimlich thingie._"

Huh?

"_Why_― No, forget it. No point in asking."

Eh?

Anyway, please stop interrupting me Reborn!

_Ouch_. That hurt, damn it.)

What Dad didn't know was that Choking-Man was very important, as in boss-of-an-international-firm important. Choking-Man, whose name was revealed to be Timeteo, thanked dearly my father. He added that he 'needed more young men like him, ready to spring into action in emergency cases' and that he would be 'very pleased if said young man joined his company' along with other flattering lines.

And this is how my father got to his present position of most-important-man-after-Timeteo-the-boss-no-need- to-precise-that-of-course in Vongola, a very high-tech security business. That was what his Mark, a golden (success) clam (name of the company in Italian, bet you didn't know that readers), clued at. The moment he stepped into the office, his Mark disappeared, proof of his accomplishment.

What was the point of this very long and boring introduction, now? Well, I'll remind you of one previously mentioned point.

My name is Sawada Tsunahime, and I am to be eighteen on October 14th. Tomorrow, my Quest begins.

Tomorrow, my story begins.


	2. Date 0: Alarm Clocks And Brooms

**Hey, I actually updated! (Procrastinating on another fic, but... Errm.)  
**

**Thanks to all those who favourited/followed (**Arabelle Rae**, **Aurielleeee**, **BookLover2401**, **DarkPika-Sama**,** Shirayukiz .Ringo**, **Don't Smile**,** KirikaAndo**, **L3nZ3r0**, **LittleBigPandaGirl**, **Lovely-Ice**, **Tnah**, **ZANGO-1** and **luvenzblu**)!  
**

**As for reviews, thanks a lot to **muah hahaha **(**Glad to hear that! I did want to come up with a story a little more original than I usually do**),** Shirayukiz. Ringo (Thanks! I'll try to update time to time - but no promises...**), **Tnah **(**More info on the Quests will show up at some point! What I can say now is that actually while most of them have deadlines, they don't all have one year as Tsuna does. Haha, don't worry it's all right**), and** Lovely Mishap** (**Hmm, I think I never heard of that anime. Must be really awkward XD! But Tsuna will be awkward in her own way c; - since she actually doesn't want anything to do with those 100 dates...**).****  
**

**Once again, who knows when the next chapter will come. (Sorry!)_  
_**

* * *

The Dating Game

Chapter 1

Date 0: Alarm Clocks And Brooms

* * *

_Tomorrow, my story begins__–_

_But today still has to happen. And today is actually crap. Nothing out of the ordinary, hurray.  
_

_x...x...x...x...x...x...x...x...x_

_October 13th. I just woke up (courtesy of my fantastic personal alarm clock also known as Reborn or that-one-tutor-I-loathe)._

_Dear Diary-with-capitalised-letters-because-why-not,_

_Tomorrow is my birthday, and I'm not 100% sure I really want tomorrow to happen._

_Can't we wait until a few years later? Or even decades, is that possible? Oh, millenniums! Why, thank you so much!_

_Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii_

_So Reborn just walked up to me, glanced at my diary and smacked me real hardddd_

_And he just said that I write in a really improper way. Who. Cares._

_Hint hint: not me._

_Ah, he's gone now. Said he didn't know why he bothers. Well I don't eitheeeee_

_He just threw his shoe at me! :( That's so meaaaaa_

_The other one followed quite quickly, huh. I figure he doesn't like when I add sad faces by using punctuation. Bet he'd prefer if I took the time (read: wasted) to write properly and politely "I am deeply hurt by your actions, my dear tutor. I would greatly appreciate if you didn't ever repeat said action in the next years we spend together. I sincerely thank you in advance."_

_Right. Lame._

_..._

_He's gone, hurray! Okay, let's get to the point._

_As I previously said– wrote (whatever), tomorrow is my birthday. Contrarily to most kids, I am Not Excited (ah, no, that's not the right word, is it? The meme goes differently...). Earlier, Mom asked me why exactly I wasn't happy with the fact that tomorrow I'll turn eighteen. So for the eleventh time today, I sat with her and explained that no, I'm not happy because yes, indeed my Quest begins tomorrow. And no, that's not a happy event. Can we go for another word than 'happy', I think the whole world is tired of hearing us repeating it instances after instances – we are not parrots, nor echo. Thank you. Yes, I don't really like my assigned Quest. No, it's not 'very original' and 'worthy of investing time into'. Because let's face it Mom, I must have the most shitty Quest known to humanity. Seriously._

_Why must I have 100 freaking dates within a year?_

_Whyyyy?_

_(No, that's not Reborn's fault this time. That's mere frustration.)_

_I bet no one else ever had such a shitty one. I bet that, no matter __who__ (God? Fate? ...I hate you?) decided my Quest, somewhere, somehow, they're laughing evilly at me. Like, they're sitting in a room full of screens to monitor every Marked and they have one special screen just for me with better quality and bigger and the whole deal for movie night. Except it's my life they're having fits of laughter and throwing popcorn at._

_Because perhaps I don't have the shittiest Quest in the whole world. But it's the worst assignation in the world. Me, the least charming girl in existence, always busy with tripping over air and having fun hanging out with bullies? Having __dates__? Impossible. I have absolutely no idea how I'll manage to get to a freaking hundred. I guess I could annoy my guy friends into agreeing for one each, but that means two out of a hundred. I'm not going to end up far with that! Perhaps I could beg Kyoko-chan for a favor, see if she could ask her brother for me? (Though if this does work, I hope I won't become deaf. This guy is... well, passionate.)_

_And then what? Three dates? That's it?_

_Yeah, that's it._

_The only way I can get dates is by drawing pity from boys. Wow. Really, what a fantastic lifeeeeeeeeeee_

_Reborn picked up his shoes, jumped on my desk, read this entry as fast as lightning, and quickly got his favourite hammer out (from where?) to play whack-a-mole with me starring as the sole mole (ha ha, 'sole mole', get it?...forget it). Yay. Apparently I'm already late for school. Thanks, dear tutor of mine._

_In summary, I'm not excited at all for tomorrow. I only have one more day before I get whirled into madness and sadness. That rhymed._

_I'll go skip breakfast to head to school now. Bet the bullies are going to have So Much Fun reminding me how much my Quest majorly sucks. Even though they don't even know what it is - as if I'd ever tell anyone!_

_Have a better day than me, you stupid diary._

_x...x...x...x...x...x...x...x...x_

_Well, seems like I've already got a head start of our who-had-the-most-horrible-day contest, worthless diary, _thought one Sawada Tsunahime while crawling in the back of her class. _That's not a surprise, though. After all, you're a freaking book, and I was cursed with terrible luck at birth._

Of course, Reborn couldn't have warned her earlier that time was ticking by, _of course, _he couldn't kindly inform her that she was running late. That went without saying. Making her suffer through all methods possible was his favourite hobby.

Therefore she was on all four on the dusty floor, making lovely discoveries (_'Who was the absolute moron on class cleaning duty yesterday? Geez... Ah, right, it was me, but Reborn threatened me so I had to escape before he murdered me with a chalk or something else just as unsuspicious looking.'_). She put her all into accomplishing a faultless and entirely unnoticed trip, while her homeroom teacher did a monologue on a subject about which she probably didn't give a single damn. She felt absolutely ridiculous, and mentally pat herself on the shoulder for not being girly and thus never tapering her knee-length skirt into a considerably shorter piece of clothing _–_ if she got caught, at least she wouldn't be flashing anyone, thank god.

Furthermore, up to now she had only knocked her foot once and placed her hand on a sharp object twice_–_

_...Make that thrice_, she hissed between her teeth.

She stilled when someone glanced around, alarmed by the unexpected sound; they didn't bother looking down and she almost let out a deep sigh of relief before she reminded herself that being noisy was exactly what she didn't want. Well, it was not going too bad, considering it was Dame-Tsuna in this situation.

_Yep, not too bad_, she thought before a student pushed his chair back brusquely and consequently slammed her head into the hard wood. _My ass_, she delicately added when, quite dizzy, she stumbled onto her teacher's legs.

"Oops," she muttered, peering up and up, until she could see the teacher's huffing face.

"'Oops' indeed." Said man scowled at her, hands at his hips. "Mind reporting what adventures you are having back here, Sawada?

The whole class started whispering and laughing at her expenses. Ah, the beauty of high school! One big community, ready to give out a hand at any time!

"Well..." _You see, about nineteen years ago, God thought 'Oh, I should create a human with no luck at all, it'll be such a blast!' And so, approximately forty weeks later, I came into this world, without knowing of the curse that would pursue me my entire life and ruin it as it pleased. _"I-I can explain...?" _Why must Yamamoto be sick today of all day? At least he would support me. Or if Kyoko was in my class she'd change the subject; same case with Hana. Damn it._

"Really," the aged man drawled out. "Would you be as kind as to narrate such explanations to the head prefect? I am certain he would be very pleased to hear your experience with the floor of this room, which you visibly forgot to clean yesterday. On your way now, Sawada."

_Well, crap._

_x...x...x...x...x...x...x...x...x...x_

"H-Hello Hibari-san," Tsuna stammered after she was pushed in gently by an apologetic Kusakabe.

Hibari paused his scribbling and breathed out slowly. "You again."

"It s-seems so..." She wrung her wrists together. _Not a good sign_, provided (un)helpfully her brain. _Back away, back away._

Not only was she sent here because she caused trouble, but she was also interrupting him in the middle of paperwork, if the two stacks of sheets on the prefect's desk indicated anything. At least she had not bothered him during one of his naps, the only other use he had for this room. Every student (and even a few teachers) found it weird and annoying how the Disciplinary Committee had the nicest room but used it sporadically. Of course, no one was insane enough to complain out loud.

"What are we going to do with you, pathetic herbivore?" He pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated. For a very short moment, she nearly dared let herself hope his words were because he was concerned for her and that was a very gratifying millisecond to think that Hibari Kyouya of all people was worried about her. Then she remembered that this name was exactly the reason why it wasn't true. No, that was not concern for her well-being.

That was concern for how much more damage she was going to bring to Namimori.

_Nice, Hibari-san. Your priorities have always been so obvious, _she (mentally, of course; she liked her head where it was, thank you very much) commented dryly.

"W-Well...You see-"

"Stop stuttering, Dame-Tsuna. That's unbecoming of my student." A squeaky voice ordered right next to her ear as a very familiar weight settled on her shoulder. She promptly yelled out in surprise, and earned a nice kick to the head for her troubles. He was truly one who'd rather give than receive. Such a charitable baby (man?).

"Reborn! What are you doing here?"

Hibari's eyes narrowed.

"You forgot your lunchbox at home once again." Her tutor's excuse was perfectly normal, except if you took in mind the fact that said lunchbox was very comfortably nested in her schoolbag all along. Still, the head prefect stopped being so tense (well, he relaxed as he much as he could while in company which, as you probably guessed, was not much).

"Thank you," she said in fake gratitude. _As long as I avoid any more problems, I'm fine with whatever bullshit you say._

"You also forgot to inform your school that tomorrow is your eighteenth birthday," he added, his tone suggesting he had just remembered to remind her (Tsuna knew very, very well that it was on purpose).

"Did I? My, I thought that I already did so! Ha ha ha!" _Will pulling a Yamamoto work? Will it? Please..._  
_  
_"Is it?" Hibari's steel voice interjected. When she turned to stare blankly at him, he repeated, "Is it your eighteenth birthday on October 14th?"

"Yes..." _Don't bite me to death, don't bite me to death, don't bite me to death..._

"Herbivore, you do know that as a student of Namimori High School you are expected to inform the direction of all matters concerning your Mark?" he said as he pulled out his tonfa to meticulously polish them. "Such responsibilities include reminding your teachers of the exact day and the Quest you will execute, along with meeting up with the school counsellor to work a clear schedule to ensure your Quest will not overstep on your studies."

"Y-Yes?" _Totally not threatening, not at all... And what is that torturer of a tutor doing, sitting on the head's prefect's desk as if all was right?  
_

"Then why is none of these mentioned in your dossier? I believe your Quest isn't even explained."

"A-Ah, that's because... I..."

"What it is?" His eyebrow rose.

"Dame-Tsuna's too embarrassed to reveal her Quest," Reborn intruded. "In truth, it's_–_"

"No!" She jumped at him in desperation. "Don't tell him!" The baby avoided her easily, not even sparing a glance at her as the motion lead her to crash pathetically on the floor (which was actually a lot cleaner than her classroom. No surprise there though; she'd always thought Hibari was a clean freak. Look at him scrub his tonfa after the littlest blood stain! _Okay_, Tsuna, zoom back to Earth. Important matters are being discussed, such as your life.)

"_–_That she must have a hundred dates before her next birthday, " he had finished smoothly during her silly musings.

_Oh God. Why me..? _

She didn't even dare to lift her head. How would the boy react? Would he even believe Reborn? Would he laugh?

_Nah_, no way in hell. Nobody ever saw Hibari laugh. But then that meant that maybe she would be the first one to witness that miracle(?), a feat no one had ever managed before, not even the piles of bloodied delinquents he left behind after a good fight. Maybe he'd scoff and ask for her to get out of his school. Or...

_Just a little peek._

_Too precarious, _The voice of reason told her sternly._  
_

_Come on, be brave Tsuna. You can do it, satisfy your curiosity!_

_Curiosity killed the cat._

_And satisfaction brought it back!_

Tsuna thought she never had seen Hibari's face look so blank.

_x...x...x...x...x...x...x...x...x...x_

_Yeah, brought it back along with a punition._

Tsuna sulked as she swept the broom. She was supposed to pass through the whole school ― except prohibited areas, naturally. After what was to Hibari a long lecture (a cold glare as he recited some of the school rules for a good five minutes), without forgetting to gift her with a couple of bruises, he kicked her out of the reception room with the order of tidying up the entire building after class.

Ah! At least now she had excellent proof of her theory. The head prefect of Namimori was obsessed with cleaning. It was plain obvious. He sent her on sweeping duty instead of beating her up! Since when did a student escape from an encounter with that guy after only a couple of hits? It never happened! Unless she was a special case, although how so?

Well... after all these years, she was still an undisciplined herbivore, and all the hits he rained down on her didn't change a thing... Which might actually mean...

Oh.

It seemed even _Hibari_ got tired of beating up the awfully weak (with her the only person on the list).

"All right, now _that _is some serious patheticalness," She groaned out loud, rubbing at her forehead. "Uh. Is that a word?"

"Go back to work, Dame-Tsuna," warned her the suddenly very close voice of her favourite tutor.

She stiffened. "Yes, on it! On it!"

He hummed absentmindedly and jumped back to the window sill he'd been sitting on for a while.

_Woah, I can't believe I honestly forgot such a risky presence for a moment back there. Man, I must have absolutely no survival instinct._

She ignored the reason why Reborn had followed her after the final bell rang, going to the length of actually waiting for her to finish her chore. It wasn't as though she needn't him to watch over her cleaning methods. After all, she did frequently help out her mother with housework. Most likely, he had something important to tell her. She threw a nervous glance at his placid form. What was he about to pain her with? He would never stay with his student for the mere sake of accompanying her.

Sure enough, seconds later he said, "So what are your plans for tomorrow?"

It was funny how innocent that question sounded. Anyone could have asked about that. Two friends chatting could have come up with it; a parent to a child, a colleague to another. Indeed, a perfectly inoffensive wonder.

But not on the eve of one's eighteenth birthday.

"Well... You see... I wanted to ask Yamamoto-kun since you know, he's one of my best friends and all that, but...He's sick today, so I couldn't..." Oh, that good old trembling laughter, those sweaty hands. _Reborn, don't kill me, oh my god. I'm too young to die! I didn't even get to ridiculise myself on my first date!  
_

"And?" How could one word, one slightly edgy tone, be so potentially dangerous, she didn't know.

"And... And yeah. Yeah...Uh. That's it? I guess... Yeah."

Shaking his head, Reborn mumbled something about 'disappointing students' and swiftly pulled out his beloved ten ton hammer out of nowhere (the classic mystery of life).

"Hiiieeeeee! Not the hammer, not the hammer!" The broom clattered loudly on the floor when she cowered ridiculously behind her head.

"Fine then." He sighed, and took out his habitual green gun – sometimes she could swear he was a Mafioso in a past life or something. "You have six seconds."

_No, no, no, no._

"Six..." He started counting slowly, polishing the weapon almost fondly.

(Almost) four years of experience told her time was almost up. She knew he had never liked being generous, even with countdowns.

"Five..."

_Here it comes..._

"One. Zero."

Tsunahime ran for her life.

* * *

**Quick question: what Quests do you think the other characters have? I'm open to all suggestions, as I'm not decided on most of them. Help would actually be really appreciated!**


End file.
